I'm a sucker. So are you, sometimes. I bet.
Don't tell me you don't occasionally follow the white rabbit down the hole known as "clickbait." I always fall for the ones about "sarcasm font," "real meaning behind rock lyrics," and things that might be very funny: Voice Activated Drone, Baby Monitor Win's Amazon's IoT Contest.
Still don't know know what I'm talking about? Your Favorite Celebrity Has a Secret Just For You!
Okay. I just tricked you.
We hate to get suckered. Almost as much as we despise certain political candidates.
So I started playing around with combining candidates and clickbait headlines.
- Trump Drowns Puppies. Poll Numbers Skyrocket
- Kasich Staffer Explains Delegate Process to Boss: One State Not Enough to Secure Nomination
- Clinton's 23 Secret Email Servers. Not Even Tech Support Knows About Them
- Watch Cruz Eat a Booger
- Sanders Furiously Wags Finger at Democratic Debate. Crowd Goes Wild.
- Revealed. . . How the Establishment of Both Parties Betrayed the American People
- Revealed. . . How the American People Betrayed the Establishment of Both Parties
Try it yourself in the comment section. It's actually fun and a sort of relaxing!
While we like to imagine the opponents of our fave candidate as despicable evil-doers and dufuses (dufusi?), we simultaneously (because we're optimists) hold out hope that the headline that catches our eye will hold the truth about our candidate that we have searched for like Diogenes. These are MUCH harder to write:
- Trump Knows Exactly What He's Doing and Saying. All Part of a Greater Plan
- Kasich Earns Re-Do in Key Early States
- Archivists Discover Warehouse Full of Proof that HRC Is Trustworthy
- 53 Fellow Republican Senators Admit They Were Wrong About Cruz
- Women, Blacks, Seniors, Latinos Volunteer for Sander's Revolution
- Path to the White House for Your Candidate "All Clear"
Bonus Click: Leprechauns Claim Responsibility for the Current State of American Political Conditions. Also Promise Map to Pot of Gold.