Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Doggie Boarding

June 10, 2009

Call the ACLU.

Alert the International Red Cross.

Find me the website for the Geneva Convention.

Walter and I returned from our meanderings late last night and faced what someone in the prior presidential administration might euphemistically call extreme salutations or perhaps even harsh felicitations.

You see, Walter and I had been subjected to stress positions for fifteen hours (I don't know what else you would call being confined to a small space with no room to straighten your legs or stand). When we walked into the house, Willie and Teddy made us lie down in the middle of the floor. Then they slurped and licked our faces non-stop. I think the most hardened detainees can handle thirty seconds of water boarding before completely succumbing to the overwhelming sense of drowning. I didn't last seven seconds of doggie boarding before I started promising them steak tartar three times a day (or six if they wanted) and their own feather mattresses to sleep on and destroy. Who really knows the actual safe flow rate and volume of doggie spit so that the recipient doesn't drown?

To make sure we were completely compliant, they followed the lickfest with some rapid tail whipping (Willie's specialty), a barrage of jumping, circle-running, and furniture climbing to disorient us, and finished by planting themselves on our chests to immobilize us for more.

I guess there are worse things than being held prisoner by your dogs.


  1. I love the welcome home from my fur babies when we've been away on vacation. Feel the love!!! Glad you had a good time!

  2. Vickie,

    I'm glad you made it back safe and sound and that you had a good time! It sounds like Willie and Teddy were glad, too, and that they are determined to hold you prisoner from any soon forthcoming trips :)

    We hope to see you at the lanyard workshop on Friday.



  3. Welcome home!

    Janice S

  4. from the title of the post I thought we might be in for a treat of seeing pics of willie and teddy on boogie boards in your lake!
    But your version of sounds like it was almost as exciting!


  5. Dear Vicke, So glad youall had such a great trip; and what a wonderful description of your welcome home! Thank you for the lovely thankyou note and the darling picture of Erin! She is such an inspiration to me! I love how you write about everything from Random walks and waterfalls to "Doggie Boarding"! Keep sending the positive blogs to TeamSam; and to all the warriors fighting this %#@!*%^ disease! You are so strong and so good with all the positeve feedbacks! to everybody! "Dios Bendiga,Vickie"
    Very Fondly, Sara. "Samsgram"
    P.S. I still want a lanyard! PPS. Did Davis get his bike "Rosie" dropped off in D.C. or did he get a bike? SIM.