Friday, July 8, 2011


July 8, 2011

Monday will mark the 45th anniversary of the premier of Bob Eubank's The Newlywed Game.  Add bonus points if you knew that it was the last commercial U.S. network series to premier in black and white.

Why do I mention this?

I didn't watch The Newlywed Game too often and probably didn't know what making whoopie was, but I do remember thinking how dumb the couples were.  I distinctly remember a question that some of the couple got wrong that I figured everyone would match on:  How many outside doors does your current home have?  

They were newly married, for goodness sakes.  Even if they had only lived there a short time, how big could their houses be?  How hard was it to count the front door and the back door?  Or if they lived in an apartment, just the front door?  

Fast forward to 2011.  Walter and I are newlyweds of almost 27 years.  We have lived together in the same house for a little longer (don't read this, mom, I'm exaggerating for literary effect).  I set myself the task of painting all the outside doors including the two shed doors as a summer project.  One evening before I started, Walter and I were discussing how much paint I needed to buy.  We each mentally counted the external doors at our house and almost in unison spoke the number:  "8" came out of my mouth, "7" out of Walter's.  No points awarded.  If I had had my answer on a piece of poster board, I would have had to clobber him over the head for forgetting the utility closet door.

We bought the paint, and I started on the two shed doors (half garage doors each) that had their original white paint exteriors which didn't do much to match the rough cedar siding.  I figured I tackle the big ones first and then move on to the six regular doors that were already green, but in desperate need of new top coats. 

I actually began a couple of weeks ago when Davis was home.  Summer is no time to paint outdoors everyday, so I figured I would work a little each morning after breakfast and knock off after a couple of hours, so that I could make consistent progress and still get other projects done each day.  First, I scrubbed the shed doors to remove a decade of grub and grime, then I gave them a good going over with a pre-paint cleaner and prep.  I also did a bang-up taping job so that I wouldn't ruin the trim.  

When I finally started painted, I discovered that eggshell finish was not what I wanted or needed, but it was what I had.  I put the first coat on, and even though I was painting the doors green, A LOT of the white primer showed through.  I re-did the two doors the next day to very unsatisfactory results.  Still plenty of door showing through, and brush marks galore.  I had expected more from Forest Wonder, Pro-Hide Gold.  I guess I didn't realized that when you bought the "professional" brand, instead of the "homeowner" brand they were letting you in on a trade secret:  painters charge by the hour and do not not mind in the least if they have to put coat after coat after coat on a door.

Little did I know that my 30 day challenge was going to be painting doors every day rather than reading poetry.

I put on what I hoped was the third and final coat yesterday morning before I left town.  And I was wrong.  I will need to apply a fourth when I get back AND at that  point IF I am finished, I will have two of the eight doors done.

If you see me walking around town looking like this:

Don't assume I am Iranian or that I just voted.  And don't assume this is the only place on my body that I have green paint.

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