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Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Service Recap--Part II

April 21, 2009

We've made it to San Jacinto Day where Texans come off better than they have in the last week, when our governor has made news around the country for less auspicious reasons. We will celebrate today by going out to dinner with Ted, Joanie, and Payton Foote. Then we'll go and watch the White Sox (Jackson and Aaron's Little League team) play ball.

I made a giant step of accomplishment today, finally dispatching the last of my built up email correspondence. Given that I had gotten behind by about 350 "owed" responses, I can now breathe a sigh of relief. I still have the email that came in on Walter's account, so if you haven't heard from us, we're hurrying. I am not totally mesmerizing myself with the computer screen. The burst of beauty that has come out after last weekend's big storms has continually lured me outside (to walk the devildog and just enjoy the major influx of birds to the neighborhood, the medley of greens every where, and of course the famed texas wildflowers). I won't pretend we don't miss Erin terribly, but we are trying to let her vast spirit fill us up rather than empty us out. I find that I thirst for details about her--the tiny stitches that pulled the pieces of her life together.

We had five friends speak at Erin's memorial service (possibly over the top, but it didn't seem fair to ask anyone to fly solo): Lisa Villalobos, Ginger Freeze, Joel and Jackson Ross, and Chet Edwards. They all did such a fantastic job that I barely cried while they spoke for fear that I might miss what they had to say.

Here are their remarks:

Lisa Villalobos, Erin's soccer coach, my coahing partner, and team captain of my soccer team, spoke on soccer and team spirit. As is usual with Lisa, she went a little "off the book" during her talk, but these are the notes she prepared:

I’ve been asked to speak about Erin and her love of soccer and her participation on the team.


Some of you may look at this little girl and think that there’s no way she could have played competitive soccer.


Let me assure you that she did and was effective. I specifically remember one time her coming off the field and all of her teammates looking at her with wide eyes, saying “ooh, you made that girl mad!” The other girl obviously underestimated Erin, who repeatedly stole the ball away.


She would also come scrimmage my ladies adult team and do the same thing. Size was never an issue with her.


She was an excellent observer of the game and could quickly identify issues for her team. She would often come out at halftime and explain that if we could just do this one thing better, we’d gain an advantage.


If you know anything about me and coaching soccer, you also know that I put a lot of emphasis on the character-building part of team sports.


When the Mystic team met last Thursday, one resounding theme was that she was inclusive. They mentioned during minicamp that Erin taught them all a card game that included everyone. Erin was good at that. Whether it was one-on-one or in large groups, she had a way of connecting with people in ways that were meaningful.


Another story was about her persistence. We talked about how, in the state cup tournament last year, Erin got hit, hard, with a ball. But despite that, she got up and kept on playing.


Ask any of my team members what my rule #1 is, and they’ll say “sportsmanship.” Erin really lived the term. She carried a positive attitude and smiled, a lot. She was patient with people, whether it was on the field or off.


What I find remarkable is her belief that she can do anything, even when her body didn’t cooperate. Even through last spring when she started having more back pain, Erin was determined. She continued to attend practice and do as much as her body let her. It was never about I don’t feel like it or I won’t. She only stopped when it was “I can’t.”


I will say, however, that she was a real kid. I saw her get mad. I saw her play with toys. All she wanted to do most of the time was be a kid and do what kids do. And she did that with great gusto.


We had so much to learn from her. Her passion for life, her compassion for others, and her easy and contagious smile. She will be truly missed.


Ginger Freeze, learning specialist at Mary Branch Elementary was never Erin's classroom teacher, but in many, many respects was her mentor. She based her remarks on the words and feelings of many of Erin's teachers about Erin, school, and creativity:

Erin was a gifted and curious student who always excelled in everything she did because Erin never quit until she was satisfied with her work. She wanted to do and be in everything. In second grade, she began participating in UIL (University Interscholastic League) and continued to compete each year trying different events. When she was eligible to be on Student Council, there she was getting experience in government. As a fifth grader, Erin was a helper in a second grade class and on the video crew producing morning announcements. Erin was one of those students who needed more than the regular curriculum. Her curiosity and ability to think outside the box pushed many a teacher to have to dig for information or seek materials to challenge this one-of-a-kind student.


Erin always had goals for herself. She wanted to be an artist and she wanted to be the first woman President of the United States, but for the staff of Branch Elementary, Erin was our teacher. She taught us what it means to give of ourselves when she hand made Valentine cards for everyone in her class. Erin also taught us to always show our appreciation for others by passing out her ‘goodbye’ gift to those who touched her life while at Branch not only to the administrators and teachers but also to every lady working in the cafeteria. That is the kind of student we celebrate here today.


A fifth grade teacher said, “Erin was unlike any student I have ever had. She was truly passionate about learning and about helping me make sure my class was a family and remained as such. She cared about her friends and classmates just as much as she cared about pushing her envelope of knowledge.”


The librarian shared that Erin was always looking for a new story to read. She specifically remembered Erin's request for Agatha Christie novels during 5th grade!


The Art Teacher stated, “Erin’s smile was the outward expression of her love for learning, for creating, and for inventing. She was delighted and her whole being absolutely sparkled after finishing a particularly difficult art project to her satisfaction. … During the planning stages of projects she would often dream up unusual ideas that required further problem solving. She had the confident "can do" attitude knowing that eventually she always would figure out a way for something to work.”


Our PE coach wrote a letter to Erin and with his permission, I share a portion with you.


“I'll never forget the day we timed you guys for Jump Rope for Heart. I was part coach and almost felt like part father at the time as I didn't want you to push yourself too hard but like always, you refused to quit. … You may or may not have appreciated what happened in that room that day as your legs, heart and lungs were burning but the classes in that room rallied behind you like nothing I've ever seen. Even the kids that tend to be self absorbed and very ego centric in their behavior were clapping and chanting in unison with your jumping cadence and even as I write this I get chills every time I think about it.”


In closing, “Erin was a spark of energy and creativity that brought joy to all of us at Mary Branch. We will miss her so much. She was like a fiery comet in the sky that streaks through quickly and is gone; but oh, the magic and joy she brought us!”


Joel and Jackson Ross, one of Erin's closest, dearest friends and his dad. This may be the hardest thing you could ever ask a friend to do.


My name is Joel Ross. My wife, Shirlene, my son, Jackson, and I have been blessed to call Erin, Vickie, Walter, Davis & Moo friends these past 7 years.


Erin & Jackson first met in preschool at Covenant Presbyterian in College Station when Jackson was fondly known as “Monday-Wednesday-Friday Jackson”. Shortly thereafter, Erin was diagnosed with neuroblastoma. Over the years, Erin & Jackson have been schoolmates, teammates, playmates & most importantly of all, dearest of friends.


I know many of you have wonderful stories to share – each one special and unique- about what your friendships with Erin mean to you. Jackson would like to take this opportunity to share some of his thoughts with you.


Jackson:


Erin has been a great friend since preschool. We have played soccer together and done many fun things as best friends. I had the pleasure of getting to go to school with her for almost eight years. Although we had our differences we always saw past them and had a great time. I have come to meet some great friends because of her. Erin was a fighter and a brave girl. She fought for so long and fought so hard. She was courageous in the face of fear and a very smart friend. She was an extremely smart person who always had new ideas and thoughts on how to make things better and more enjoyable. Nobody will know what to do without her; we will all miss her good mood and gigantic grin. We will all miss Erin and we will never forget her. We are all so sad to see her go, but she is in a better place without pain or suffering. She is smiling again and as playful and caring as ever.



As many of you know all too well, Erin has a bright, vibrant, outgoing personality. She is so full of energy, life & love that she wants to share it with everyone. Just about everyone she meets comes to call her “friend”. Because of Erin’s circumstances, she has had the opportunity to develop friendships – and touch lives – in many different walks of life:


*Through school – her classmates, teachers, administrators

*Through sports – her coaches, teammates, & even opponents

*Through church – her pastor, ministers and church family

*Through NB – her doctors, nurses, other NB patients & families;

*Government leaders, & even a few NFL football stars


As you can tell if you have read the postings on Erin’s blog, she even has hundreds, if not thousands, of friends from all over the world that she has never met.


Erin is always so encouraging to her friends, even when her own circumstances are difficult and challenging, as when she cheers her kid-friends (& occasionally some adult-friends) who are playing WII while she is forced to watch from the sidelines. Erin is a true friend – never afraid to tell a friend what they need to hear, even though it is not necessarily what they want to hear.


You may have noticed that I continue to speak of Erin in the present tense. That is because she continues to live in all of us – in our hearts and in our memories – and through all of us – through our support for other NB patients & families and our support for the fight to find a cure for this terrible disease. She continues to touch our lives in so many ways. Through her efforts to raise awareness of the need for additional funding for children’s cancer research, she will continue to touch many more lives in the years to come –even the lives of people who have not been born yet.


Thank you.


Chet Edwards, Erin's Congressman and closest adult friend, came back to Texas at the end of his family's spring break trip to Vail (we were glad he made it to the bottom of the slopes every time with no injuries. . . no small accomplishment given the challenges and races he had with J.T. and Garrison down the most dangerous runs) to attend Erin's visitation/celebration and to speak at her memorial on the topic of service and inspiration:

Sometimes the best gifts come in the smallest packages. Such is the case with Erin Buenger. She was a divine gift to her family and to all of us blessed to know her.

Her life, her joyous spirit and her indomitable courage will inspire us all for as long as we shall live.


Like so many others here, I fell in love with Erin Buenger the first time I met her. How could you not, given her sparkling eyes, her exuberance for life and her commitment to helping others.


Each of us has our own Erin stories. Mine is that I first met Erin several years ago when she came with her mother to Washington to speak out for more research funding for children’s cancer.


I’ve met a lot of lobbyists in my lifetime, but never one more persuasive than Erin.


The problem is that with rare cancers such as neuroblastoma, private companies simply aren’t going to spend millions of dollars to research new drugs, so, as Erin pointed out to me, the government must do more. Because of Erin Buenger, the government will do more.


From that day forward, I joined the legions of Erin fans.


Teaching, at its best, is about inspiring others to be better, to do better. In that sense, this remarkable little girl was one of the finest teachers I have ever known.


Through Erin’s joy of living every day fully, she taught us how precious life truly is.

Through Erin’s positive attitude, despite her daunting medical challenges, she taught us what courage truly is.


Through Erin’s thoughtfulness to others, she taught us that life is not about self but rather about making a difference for others, about being our brother’s keeper.


What a difference her life has made in yours and mine and for so many others.


Whether we here have never met, or just known each other for a few moments or for years, our common bond is our love for Erin. I believe we can honor that love by living every day more fully, by facing adversity with courage, by making a difference for others and by sharing the story of this beautiful little girl.


My faith teaches me that heaven is a better place today, and the world will be a better place tomorrow because of the spirit of Erin Buenger.


Thank you, Vickie, Walter and Davis for sharing your precious Erin with so many of us. For that, may God bless you and forever keep you and Erin in His loving arms.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Service Recap--Part I

April 20, 2009

The Moveable Feast Bake Sale Update:  That's right not only did the Carmen, Michelle, and Lara take their show on the road to Bryan when The Woodlands Earth Day Festival was cancelled,  but after the Mary Branch Carnival ended, they took the remaining items to the College Station WalMart and kept selling until almost 6:00.  For their efforts (and the efforts of many, many bakers), Lunch for Life is over $2200 richer.  I also owe special thanks to Jenniffer (I spelled that right!  2 ns and 2 fs) Pope and the entire staff at Branch and the PTO, plus Eric Saenz and the management of the CS WalMart.  I'm not keeping precise count, but I think my thank you note count is hovering towards the four digit range.

For any of you with experience, you know that the path we are walking on is getting more difficult rather than easier.  We are following your example and treating ourselves like you are treating us, with kindness and gentleness.   As part of the process of healing we drove into Houston last night to pick up Davis for a few days between the end of classes and final exams.  Even though we didn't actually go to Texas Children's (Davis's dorm is about three blocks away), we had a difficult time re-walking those old paths.

This post is mostly to help me archive the details of Erin's memorial service.  I have decided to break the recap into three parts, so that I can have easy reference to them later.  In this installment I include Ted Foote's message and the bulletin cover.


“Going Forward”

Scriptures:   

James 2:14-18

        II Corinthians 9:6-8; 12:8-9

        Mark 12:28c-31

 

(OPENING)  This is an “open letter” to Erin’s classmates.  If it makes sense to them, the time of these words being spoken will have been quality time.  If it makes sense to those of us who are older than her classmates, that’s “icing on the cake.”

 

In one important way, I cannot tell you why Erin has died.  I know that a disease developed in her body; and I know that the medicine and treatment, after some years, could not effectively fight the disease for her body’s health.


Erin’s parents have said they do not think it’s helpful for us to spend a lot of time asking “Why?”  I agree with them.  It is o.k. to ask God, “Why?” but God may not give good or satisfactory answers to “Why?”  A man named Job is the major character in a book in the Bible where his children, probably older than Erin, died.  He asked God, “Why?” and God was willing to hear his question, but God did not answer the “why” part.  Instead God wanted to talk about life and God’s relationship with people and the world.


Science can give us a medical and biological answer about Erin’s disease, but God doesn’t give much of an answer.  People often try to tell each other “why” when something bad happens, but our answers really are not God’s answers.  That means we can talk among ourselves about “why?”, but the Bible offers other (and, we can say) healthier possibilities.


One possibility is the “going forward” possibility.  That was Erin’s choice.


She was made that way.  Her only gear was a forward gear.  Her model left the factory and drove for eleven years with no reverse gear.


Her mom and dad have said she was not so much a “noun” like “girl,” “student,” “friend,” “soccer player,” etc.  She was not so much an adjective like “energetic,” “inspiring,” “caring,” “witty,” etc.  She was more an action verb:  Go. Do. Study. Visit. Play. Research. Make. Persuade. Love.


It is o.k. to say, “I’m very sad because Erin only got to live eleven years.”  When we say that, it’s true.  And it’s easier to think, “It’s not fair for Erin to have only eleven years and for me to have a bunch more.”  It’s not fair, but I think that’s not what Erin would want us getting hung up on.  Our sadness is real.  Erin’s life now lives in God’s life.  We cannot see that with our eyes.  Yet living in God’s life, she lives as an influence in our lives as she has been our friend and has influenced us so powerfully.


I said “going forward” was Erin’s choice for living.  True, she did not seem to have a “reverse” gear.  “Going forward,” though, means more than the opposite of going in reverse.  “Going forward,” in the last two years, has been a phrase used by many adults in government and business.  They start sentences with it, saying, “Going forward, here’s the way we will work.”  Or they end sentences with it, saying, “Here’s the way we will work going forward.”


Erin had her own way of going forward.  On fun days and hard days she was a “doer going forward.”  Going forward, we will miss her.  We are truly sad.  We are also more alive going forward because Erin has showed us her own way of going forward. 


Once upon a time, a person asked Jesus how best to live life.  Jesus answered him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ And, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’”


Erin believed in going forward the way Jesus taught.


Sometimes you see some letters:  “WWJD?”  I think Erin would be the first to tell you and me, “Don’t live your life asking, ‘WWED?’ (What Would Erin Do?)  Maybe even don’t ask ‘WWJD?’ because Jesus doesn’t live exactly in our time the way he lived in Palestine two thousand years ago; but going forward, as you love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, always ask, ‘WCID?’ (What Can I Do? -- as Jesus taught and as Erin and other faithful persons have shown me?).”  There will be plenty for you to do going forward in terms of action verbs; and nothing you can or will do is more important than loving God and self and neighbor as Jesus taught with his own life for God’s people.


So, if going forward, your life is connected to God’s love for people and connected to God’s love for this whole world, then you will honor Erin’s life among us, you will honor God’s loving through her life, and you will honor God’s loving through your life.


You may have noticed the picture on the bulletin cover (reproduced below).  In that picture, people are serving God with their talents.  (At the bottom left of the picture, Erin’s face and her dogs, Willie and Teddie, are added by a “photo-shop” technique.)  Both before Erin’s face is added and after her face is added, the picture means that all of God’s people have good, holy gifts to offer with their lives.  Erin did.  Going forward, God helps you and me and others to offer our gifts in life as well, when we are 11 years old, and 21, 31, 41, 51, 81, 91 years old.


Offering gifts through our lives, going forward in God’s love:  Let’s do it!


-- All honor and praise be to God.


Saturday, April 18, 2009

Bake Sale?

April 18, 2009

2:00 p.m. update:  If you missed a trip to Mary Branch, you can still score some baked goods.  Tori Saenz's dad, Eric, okayed a move to the front of the College Station WalMart for the unsold tasty treats.  Thanks everyone!

Okay.  This is sort of a convoluted story, but . . . for our local readers, a window of opportunity will open and close today.  The Southwest chapter of the Children's Neuroblastoma Cancer Foundation (these are really awesome folks!!!) had planned a bake sale to raise money for Lunch for Life at the Earth Day Festival in The Woodlands today.  Even more incredibly, they planned to donate all the proceeds to Lunch for Life in Erin's memory.

The rain god had another plan.

Organizers cancelled the festival about 5:00 yesterday evening. . .after all the bakers had baked goodies--tasty and perishable goodies.

By a quarter to six, they had made an alternative plan.

Erin's old elementary school, Mary Branch, has their annual carnival today--indoors!  The bake sale will go on as planned, in Bryan instead of at The Woodlands.

If you have a hankering for baked goods (individually wrapped and whole cakes and pies, mostly organic in the spirit of Earth Day) stop by the Mary Branch Elementary Spring Carnival at 2040 W. Villa Maria between 10:00 and 2:00.  This is a wonderful use of a rainy Saturday.  And think about it.  You have probably already eaten all the chocolate bunny ears in your house.  It's time to replenish your stock of tasty treats.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Tributes--Part IV

April 17, 2009

A look at the weather radar for Texas shows heavy rains in our area for the next 30 hours or so.  I'm glad it didn't rain last week, as I needed the sun and all the flowers and trees leafing out to remind me of the promise of spring.  If you, like me, are stuck inside today or tomorrow, you may be interested in perusing some of these website tributes to Erin that appeared in the last week.



Teamsam:  Erin Buenger

















Tributes--Part III

April 16, 2009

And so we start another day.  The grassroots tributes below bring us much comfort.  The Dear Erin video was created by an extremely talented young woman that Erin went to school with at Jane Long Middle School, Emma Raleigh, who took quotes from classmates about Erin and combined them with photos from this website and set them to music.  



On Tuesday evening, my boyfriend Garrett DeAtley, a second grader at Erin's old elementary school, called me when I was out walking Willie and Teddy.  He invited me to come to his baseball game on Wednesday.  The Rattlers usually wear burgundy and black, but you can see from the team shot below that they switched out for the evening.  What a handsome group, and their inner beauty (handsomeness) is as bold and radiant as their outer selves.



Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Tributes--Part II

April 15, 2009

My mother spotted this Monday as we were leaving for the church. This morning on my Willie/Teddy walk, the same bird followed us along our path from about the half mile mark to about the three-quarters mile point.


Though not unheard of, these birds don't ordinarily hang out around here. I felt honored to be temporarily part of The Red-Headed League.

Anyway, after such a nice and lengthy newspaper piece about Erin last Saturday, I was stunned to see that The Eagle Editorial Board chose her as the subject of their Sunday editorial (on Easter Sunday, no less).


Erin Buenger had a zest for living life fully

Eagle Editorial Board

Erin Buenger spent her 11 years living life to the fullest. She had what most likely was a fatal illness, yet that didn't dampen her enthusiasm for life, her eagerness to try new things and, most importantly, her great love of people.

Erin lost her seven-year battle with neuroblastoma on Thursday, but she leaves behind a host of people who loved her and a community that will miss her.

Many people faced with a disease for which there is no known cure would shut themselves off from people, would wallow in their illness, but not Erin. She attacked life with a zest that was exhilarating and contagious. She played on a competitive soccer team. She rode horses. She took fencing lessons.

With one terrible exception, Erin was a normal school girl -- the way she wanted to be treated. A bright student, she was active in the Inquiry Academy for gifted and talented students at Jane Long Middle School. She made the honor role every six weeks and never earned less than a 96 on her report card. She was treasurer of the student council.

Erin was determined to beat the disease. She twice traveled to Washington, D.C., to meet with members of Congress and, really, anyone who would listen to her. She talked with U.S. Rep. Chet Edwards and garnered his support for a bill that would commit $150 million in federal money to finding a cure for neuroblastoma and other cancers. Her father said Edwards in turn convinced several other members of the House to vote for the measure, which finally passed the Congress and was signed into law by President George W. Bush last July. Now, the harder part is making sure the measure gets funded.

In addition to getting Edwards' support, she made him a special friend, one who called on her at home and who visited her only two weeks before her death.

Erin had that ability. She could connect and make friends with people of any age. She didn't ant people to be sad.

And she worked hard to raise money to fund research on neuroblastoma. She made lanyards for ID badges and sold them, raising some $2,000 for cancer research. She worked on a cookbook -- Erin Cook's -- using recipes she developed herself in the hospital. When it is available, proceeds from the book will go to research.

Some of us go through life never creating a ripple, leaving no legacy. Not Erin Buenger, though. She packed a lot in 11 years and this community is better because she lived among us.

I may eventually get a savable copy of the television news story that also aired on Sunday, but for now I can send you to this link (sorry, in advance, for the commerical that comes before the story):

http://www.kbtx.com/home/headlines/42886757.html

Ashlea Sigman of KBTX News came out to the house on Sunday afternoon before the visitation/party/celebration to work on the story. I worried because she had forty-five minutes of tape that she had to edit down to 90 seconds (I told her I sympathized with the problem of needing to express Erin as a haiku, when she really was an epic poem). By the time this aired she had talked her boss into more than double the air time she had originally been given. I'm glad some of you who live out of town can catch a glimpse of Erin's bedroom. Just a glance shows the many directions her interests spread.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Tributes--Part I

April 14, 2009

When I woke up this morning, both my arms were still asleep, numb and tingly. My rising panic gave way to relief when I finally realized I didn't have some terrible disease. I was just hugged out. Between Sunday evening and Monday afternoon, I dispensed more than 1,000 individual hugs (and a few groups hugs). Here is the first of several installments of tributes to Erin's life. This piece, masterfully written by Robert Borden, appeared in the paper last Saturday. Thank you, Robert. Thank you also to Robert's mother, Shirley Borden, who corresponded with Erin regularly, and who recognized in Erin a kindred spirit. I'm reproducing it with the archive photo that ran with the story. This picture always made Erin laugh, because Dave McDermand had to take so many shots to get us to look serious. Erin always claimed it was the only time the three of us ever looked serious simultaneously.

11-year-old kept bright outlook on life despite burden of cancer

Eagle photo/Dave McDermand

Erin Buenger, 11, died Thursday, seven years after being diagnosed with a cancerous tumor. Her parents, Vickie and Walter, say she embraced life to the fullest.

Erin Buenger was a girl with a big heart and a terrible disease. She also had a courage that put the rest of us to shame.

The 11-year-old Bryan girl died peacefully Thursday morning, seven years after being diagnosed with neuroblastoma, a cancerous tumor in young children that begins in nerve tissue and spreads.

The disease is a heavy burden for a child to bear, but Erin refused to let it get her down, friends and family said. She fought the disease, not just for herself, but for other children with the disease and other forms of cancer.

She took the battle to the halls of Congress, where she lobbied U.S. Rep. Chet Edwards to support the Conquer Childhood Cancer Act of 2006. It was the first of two trips to Washington, D.C., that she made to lobby for support of the bill. The Waco Democrat readily signed on to the measure and, in the process, became good friends with Erin and her family.

When making her second trip to the nation's capital, Erin told an Eagle reporter, "When I was in the hospital, [treatment] took forever, forever, forever, forever to work. I think if we could get more money, then [treatments] would work faster and I could have more free time."

Walter Buenger, Erin's father, said Edwards remained in close touch with his daughter, spending a Sunday afternoon with the family in the middle of last fall's election season, even going out to eat with the family. Erin still had a flower-bedecked "Welcome Chet" sign that she made for his visit on the wall in her bedroom. Edwards last visited Erin about two weeks ago.

"She always lit up when she was with him and he lit up when he was with her," Walter Buenger said.

When she was in fifth grade at Mary Branch Elementary School in Bryan, Erin asked Edwards to be her "visual aid" in a presentation she was making to her fellow students on how laws are made. He readily agreed and sat on stage for more than an hour while she made her presentation, referring to the representative as "my helper, Chet."

On Friday, Edwards said in a statement: "I first met Erin when she came to Washington with her mother to lobby for medical research for children with rare diseases. From the moment I met her, Erin stole my heart with her courage and positive outlook on life. In listening to her talk about the joys of everyday life, one would never know she had ever had a bad day."

He said Erin had more courage than anyone he has met, and "to have been her friend was one of the greatest joys in my life."

"Erin showed me the purity of her heart when, despite her own fight against cancer, she sent me an e-mail every day for three weeks and three gallons of Blue Bell Ice Cream when I had minor larynx surgery. Some children are just so special that I have to believe God wants them back to make heaven a better place."

Despite being diagnosed with neuroblastoma when she was 5, Erin never let it get her down. Her parents remember her remarkable ability to connect with people of all ages.

"She liked meeting people and had the ability to make a deep connection with people, treating them like a special friend," her mother, Vickie Buenger, said.

"She was not a cancer patient. She was a person who had cancer," Vickie Buenger said. "She appreciated all the experiences that opened up for her. You could not find a more complete embracer of opportunities to be involved."

Throughout her school years, Erin insisted she be treated like any other student. She had a passion for soccer, playing on a competitive soccer team and she rode horses. As a sixth grader, she was in the Inquiry Academy at Jane Long Middle School, where she competed in UIL contests and served as treasurer of the student council. Her mother said that, despite prolonged absences from school, Erin was on the honor role every six weeks and never brought home a grade lower than a 96 on a report card.

Two weeks ago, Erin had two works of art on exhibit at the Bryan Art Fest at Bryan High School. Since January, she had made some $2,000 stringing lanyards to hold ID badges, selling them to raise money for neuroblastoma research.

She completed work on a cookbook to be called Erin Cooks, with proceeds also going to research when it is published. Some of the recipes she developed while in the hospital for treatment.

At the time of her death, she was working on a fused glass art project with several older women at Bryan's First Presbyterian Church.

In late February, when her class took a school bus trip to Houston to see an exhibit called Body Works, Erin insisted on going, saying it was nice to travel to Houston and not have to visit a doctor or clinic.

Walter Buenger said his daughter's approach to life was "full-tilt."

"If there was a project to be done, she'd say, 'Let's do it.' If there was fun to be had, she'd say, 'Let's have it.' If there was schoolwork do be done, she'd say, 'Let's give it our best,'" he said. "If there was a treatment to be taken, she'd say, ' Let's take it' and then move on."

Vickie Buenger said some people would use adjectives such as smart or witty or kind to describe her daughter; others might add nouns such as good student or good soccer player.

"I think of her in action verbs," she said. "If she was going to read, you'd better have plenty of books on hand. If she was going to play, she was going to play really hard. If she was going to work, she was going to work really hard. Everything has to do with action verbs."

After her daughter's death Thursday, Vickie Buenger logged on to Erin's laptop computer. There, she found a list of things Erin was looking forward to doing, including learning how to fence, how to cook fondue and how to make a pot of tea.

Even at her sickest, Erin Buenger always believed she was going to get better, and it was hard for those around her not to believe the same thing, her father said.

"She had a remarkable ability to see the best in every situation, to be happy, with a quick sense of humor. She could see that everything wasn't always about her," he said.

Services for Erin

Erin Buenger's family will host a "party/celebration/visitation" in honor and memory of Erin from 6 to 8 p.m. Sunday in the Fellowship Hall of First Presbyterian Church, 1100 Carter Creek Parkway in Bryan. There will be a slideshow of photos from Erin's life, her favorite songs will be played and there will be a chance for people to share special memories.

Visitors are asked to wear bright colors to the event, because Erin "had no prejudice against any color, as long as it was bright and eye-catching."

At 2 p.m. Monday there will be a memorial service for Erin, also at the church.

In lieu of flowers, those who wish may make a donation to Erin's Let's Do It Fund at the First Presbyterian Church to fund children and youth activities at the church or to Lunch for Life/Children's Neuroblastoma Cancer Foundation at www.nbhope.org.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Arrangements and Such

April 10, 2009

I have added a photo at the bottom of this entry from the Aggie vs OSU soccer match on Friday night.

Walter, Davis, and I are leaning heavily on all of our dear, dear friends today. Thanks to each of you who are lifting our burden and reminding us of what is really important.

For those of you looking for information about arrangements:

We will have a party/celebration/visitation in honor and memory of Erin's life on

Sunday Evening
April 12
from 6 to 8 p.m.
at the
Fellowship Hall of the First Presbyterian Church of Bryan
(1100 Carter Creek Parkway)

Everyone is welcome to stop by, relax, exchange Erin stories, listen to her favorite tunes, and join us in remembering her through photos and memorabilia.

Her memorial service will be held on

Monday Afternoon
April 13
at 2:00 p.m.
at the
First Presbyterian Church of Bryan
(1100 Carter Creek Parkway)

In lieu of flowers, if you wish, you may make a donation to Erin's Let's Do It Fund at the First Presbyterian Church to fund children and youth activities at the church or to Lunch for Life/Children's Neuroblastoma Cancer Foundation.

Visitors to either event are encouraged to dress with an eye for color. Erin held no prejudice against any color, as long is it was bright and eye-catching.

******************

At the beginning of the game on Friday night, the Aggies and the Cowgirls observed a minute of silence in Erin's honor. Erin's team joined these two fine collegiate squads in the middle of the field. As you can see (click the image to enlarge), the Aggies wore their green tornadoes again and both teams wore green ribbons for Erin.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Erin Buenger

April 9, 2009

Erin died gently this morning at about 8:30. I can't say that she ever ignored her cancer, but rather she lived large with it for 82 months. Walter and I will let you know what happens next, when we figure it out.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

A Surprise Visit from KM

April 7, 2009

Special request: Davis turns 21 on Saturday. Leave a birthday greeting for him on The Davis Report, send him an e-mail (cdb1@rice.edu), or if you are more of a paper-kind-of person, drop a note in the mail:

Will Rice College
6330 Main Street
Houston, Texas 77005


Erin's first grade teacher, Christy Hanson came over after school yesterday. I tiptoed next door (where Kitty Muffin lives) and snuck her into our house for the photo op below. Two questions probably pop to mind: Why does Erin's cat live next door? And why does a visit Miss Hanson merit a visit by the cat to Chez Willie and Teddy? KM lives next door because Walter doesn't care for cats in his house (and I suppose neither do Teddy, Willie, nor Luke). She came for a visit because Miss Hanson fostered her before she became Erin's.


Erin has had a little (big?) run in with gastritis today (talk about a problem that none of us needed). I've got to tell you, cancer is not for the faint of heart or the weak of stomach. No details to ruin your day, but I am currently thankful that my sofa has dark, rich colors.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

No Hospital Time Today!

April 4, 2009

I meant to start this update at 4:44 this afternoon (04/04, 4:44), but Erin and I got caught up with Cathy and Katie Locket and the lanyards, and I just didn't get it done.

I had a couple of complaints that I left you hanging after April Fool's Day. We spent a vast majority of the day at the hospital on Thursday (11:00-10:00) and only a small portion of the day on Friday (11:00-3:30) at St. Joseph's hospital getting transfusions. Erin's hemoglobin had slipped so low that we had to take extreme precautions in pumping her back up (very, very slowly) so that we didn't put undue strain on her heart and lungs. We also pumped in some platelets so she could have a little dental work done next week. Erin managed to keep a very good spirit about the whole affair, thanks in large part to the many friends who stopped by to play games (Quiddler, Set, Scrabble, Boggle, and something else that has a funny name that I can't remember. . .something like Kanoodle). I don't know whether I mentioned that we flew through the second book of the Septimus Heap series (Flyte) earlier this week, and have started the third book Physic.

We celebrated on Friday evening with the Ross's and Elaine and Ian, playing Taboo, eating Gina's take out and generally having a time that said, "thank goodness we are at home on a beautiful evening with the whole family and our dear friends doing the things we love."



I wish Erin's health wasn't so delicate right now. Instead of getting an immediate bounce from her transfusions, we have to wait for all the fluids to settle and the bloating to go away. Erin moved rather slowly today, relatively happy, but less comfortable than I would prefer.

We need to thank everyone for all the love and support we are getting these days, not to mention a load of gifts, cards, and treasures. Thanks to everyone for keeping us in the forefront! We really appreciate it.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

You're Kidding

April 2, 2009

I talked to Erin's local doctor yesterday and really thought he would pause a moment then say "April Fools" after he told me that Erin's hemoglobin was "5."  Instead, he said, "Let's get her crossed and typed today and transfuse her tomorrow."

Despite having half as much oxygen carrying capacity as a normal person, Erin was certain she didn't need to stay home and conserve her energy last night.  Instead, we went to the church for the last session of the School for Christian Living (Spanish for Walter and me, fused glass jewelry for Erin).

I have to say that my life has gotten a lot simpler since my friend and savior Elaine arrived in from Australia.  Not only have I missed her every day since she left town in early December, so just seeing her was terrific, but she stepped right in as our family scheduler (without even pausing to see if she was going to have jet lag or not).  The days have run much more smoothly, and Elaine doesn't seem to mind running interference on the phone for me when Erin would prefer a back rub or game of card instead of listen to me yammer.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know about Erin's plans.  When we get up and going today, we'll head to St. Joseph's for packed red blood cells.  I think it will take most of the day.  We will probably replay the plan on Friday, but instead get platelets (remember they were transfusable last week, but we watched them instead of doing anything about them).  Well, they went in the right direction (now up to 25,000) which takes Erin out of danger  and is not officially transfusable, BUT she needs a little dental work to free a stuck baby tooth, so that the adult tooth can come in right, so we'll probably add a bag of platelets in on Friday, just for fun.  Call Elaine (229-9667) if you want to experience the fun with us.  She can set you up.